#421: assassin’s creed: altaïr’s chronicles
animus on the go — but is it worth it? (no)
assassin’s creed: altaïr’s chronicles (2008, DS, gameloft): as long as there’s been handheld video games, there’s been spinoffs and ports of more popular console (or computer!) titles. and as long as there’s been handheld spinoffs and ports, most of them have been trash. assassin’s creed: altaïr’s chronicles is no different.
developed by gameloft — not a name that inspires confidence for those familiar with their work — altaïr’s chronicles positions itself as a prequel to the very first assassin’s creed. where the original assassin’s creed was a cultural phenomenon, a logical step forward for the rebooted prince of persia series while launching one of the biggest gaming franchises of the 21st century, altaïr’s chronicles is little more than a flop, a frustratingly clunky platformer that has none of the charm of its bigger brother.
the plot, such as it is, involves altaïr, one year prior to his adventures in assassin’s creed; he’s been tasked with tracking down a mythical chalice that the villainous templars have been looking for. one thing leads to another and it turns out the chalice is actually a woman (who apparently bears some slight relevance to the plot of the main game, thus proving that this game’s story isn’t completely pointless.) that’s pretty much it. she doesn’t even survive to the end, and the events of the game don’t really mean much to the series as a whole.
the gameplay isn’t much better. in essence, it’s a 2D platformer grafted onto a 3D game; you can move in eight directions, but most all your paths, whether you’re walking, jumping, climbing or swinging, will follow the four cardinal ones. your actual movement is sluggish and janky, and jumping isn’t as precise as one would like, which means that you’ll often just jump right onto instant death spikes. combat is generally tedious and often unavoidable, and the timing on parrying is all off. there’s very little to really set the game apart from every other crappy DS game, and using the DS’s physical gimmicks like the microphone do nothing to make it less mediocre.
so why does this exist? same reason the awful call of duty DS games exist — to sell violent video games to your little brother because your mom won’t let him play them on your PS3. i’m being facetious, of course; franchises like this often generate spinoffs, but i’m hard-pressed to think of many that i actually had fun with. and if that wasn’t bad enough, there was actually a mobile release of the game a few years later that improved the graphics, but generally didn’t actually make the game fun. and it’s since been taken down, so really, that’s all you need to know about that.
if you’re going to play an assassin’s creed, go big-screen or go home.
